


the star that shines the brightest (you, it's you).

by junfhongs



Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Study, Hurt/Comfort, Jonghyun-centric, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-11-29 16:59:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11445150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junfhongs/pseuds/junfhongs
Summary: AU where Minhyun isn't part of NU'EST. Jonghyun wanted to put up a fight, to give themselves a chance. Despite the helplessness of it all, he managed to find someone who was straining against the current with him.





	1. Chapter 1

It was inevitable, really.

They were already worked up as it is, and the murmurs and whispers as they stepped out didn't help the nerves that Jonghyun was already seeing in the two members standing beside him. When Dongho's voice cracked and Minki's face dropped in response, Jonghyun felt himself deflate as he waited for the performance to be over.

He wanted to be furious. He wanted that fire to spark something in them, bring them back to a fighting mental state. He wanted to show everyone staring at them now that they weren't washed-up, failed idols who were using this show as a last-ditch effort towards fame.

He wanted to stop blaming himself when he knew he was helpless from the beginning.

As expected, Jonghyun never got what he wanted. They all ranked at D, and Jonghyun… he was numb. He was getting tired of his own self-deprecation, and he was forced to dig his nails into his palms as they watched the rest of the fresh, much-younger trainees receive marks higher than theirs. He waited as the attention quickly drifted away from them until they melded into the background, as they always did. That was something they were accustomed to.

Jonghyun threw up in the bathroom afterwards.

Everyone else was bubbling with excitement, ready to move into the dorms, start their careers, meet people, and impress the audience when this all aired. They were talking about things like how their skin looked in front of the camera or whether or not their parts were going to be cut. Jonghyun envied their enthusiasm.

Jonghyun rubbed his face harshly with water; filming was over and he needed to take off his second skin. The sickening taste of stale vomit was still lingering in his mouth, but he did his best to rinse it off.

When Jonghyun looked up at the mirror, he saw eyes that pitied him but also understood him _deeply._ Jonghyun wanted to fall in.

"Are you alright?" the trainee asked, eyes sharp yet concerned. Jonghyun tried to recognize him, but— "Hwang Minhyun. Fantagio."

"Ah," Jonghyun smiled slightly, "I remember." The two human sacrifices from Fantagio were of a similar type: tall, handsome, probably ready to be shoved into a drama at a moment's notice. The dancer was an extremely impressive all-rounder, but his partner—the one with a honey sweet voice who just seemed a bit duller compared to the person dancing beside him—caught Jonghyun's attention anyway. There was something familiar about him…

Minhyun rubbed the back of his neck. "I, uh, don't expect you to remember, but I trained with Pledis for a while."

And _then_ it hit him. Jonghyun briefly remembered meeting a boy of the same age from Busan, lonely in a big city just as they all were, smiling and laughing with them as they practiced. He got traded into Fantagio after a month, barely enough time for them to really get to know him.

It was still comforting, however, to know that they shared a tie like that once. "I do remember," Jonghyun said. Plastering on a wide smile seemed too much, especially when there weren't any cameras to play nice in front of.

Minhyun shifted in his place as the silence grew too heavy. When their eyes met, Jonghyun saw a bit of his defeat mirrored in Minhyun's eyes. Of course, Minhyun started out just a bit after Jonghyun, but he was never let out of the dungeon. At least Jonghyun had a taste of fame, but Minhyun… he was still waiting for his turn in the spotlight.

A part of Jonghyun envied him. For Minhyun, the question in his mind was, _"When will it finally begin?"_ For Jonghyun, the real question was, _"How much longer until it has to end?"_

Minhyun handed him some paper towels to dry his face. Jonghyun took them gratefully and awkwardly waited until Minhyun would leave. Something told him Minhyun was the type to stick around when he knew something was wrong.

He was. "You… did well," Minhyun tried to say, but the pained snort from Jonghyun was enough to tell him that it was the wrong thing to say. Jonghyun stared at him through the mirror until Minhyun sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "You did what you could with your situation."

"Thanks?" Jonghyun said, shame rising with the flush on his neck. He didn't want to continue this scrutiny anymore. "You should go."

Minhyun shook his head. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"The sound of silence." Minhyun smiled. "It's refreshing after a few hours of being with all those kids."

Jonghyun chuckled and tossed the tissue in the bin. "You talk like we're ancient."

"We're getting there," Minhyun said. "Come on, let's walk back to the dorms."

"Right," said Jonghyun, looking down again. "You should have just gone ahead. We're arranged by letter rank for now, right?"

"Well, yeah," started Minhyun, "but it's not like I had anyone waiting for me out there."

Right. His fellow trainee seemed comfortable as he found people from the A class to stick to, while Minhyun—who was in no way less talented than Seongwoo, perhaps just a bit overshadowed by two marks—was left in a restroom with a washed-up idol who couldn't handle his own shame as he forced himself to think like a trainee again. Two different situations, but something about their shared helplessness comforted Jonghyun.

He turned to face Minhyun and met those eyes again, the same eyes that understood his plight, the same eyes that he wanted to fall into in hopes that he'd find a source of comfort in someone, despite everything.

It was a strange thought. Jonghyun wasn't ever alone in this journey—he certainly went into this with two friends who didn't hide their hatred for the cards that they were dealt—but Jonghyun still felt lonely.

"No point in standing around," Jonghyun said. "It was nice meeting you, Hwang Minhyun."

"I'm excited to work with you, Kim Jonghyun." They smiled at each other and motioned towards the door. _Shall we?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! to summarize the details of this AU: Minhyun trained with Pledis for a while, but he was drafted into Fantagio when Pledis and Fantagio were working together at the time. only Jonghyun, Dongho, and Minki entered Produce 101, and basically everything else will follow reality.
> 
> title from Bolbbalgan4's Galaxy & adapted from Produce 101 S2 - Pick Me.
> 
> thank you for reading! hope you all stick around for the next update <3
> 
> (follow me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/amenochieien/)!)


	2. Chapter 2

Jonghyun was _so_ close to throwing up, but there was no time for him to run away from the mortifying sight of Dongho and Minki messing up a routine they should have easily picked up given their experience in the industry. Minki even had the gall to look _sheepish,_ and Jonghyun didn't know if his face was portraying the deep disappointment weighing down his body. The editing team would have a field day if they got that kind of content; Jonghyun wasn't ready for that kind of edit to ruin the dynamics of his group.

A lot of things weren't going their way recently. A lot of things were too far out of reach for Jonghyun to control, but all he could do was his best. He knew it was impossible for him to get into the A class because he couldn't sing to save himself from the obliteration of his career, but at least he had dancing. He had _something_ keeping him afloat, but he couldn't say the same for the blank faces of Minki and Dongho who were staring at him now.

"Good job," Minki whispered to him when the camera crew was going through the footage of each trainee. Jonghyun nodded, lowering his head as he knew that he wouldn't be seeing Minki for a while. He wanted them to try _harder,_ damn it. He… didn't want to give up like this.

They waited patiently as the other rooms filmed their re-evaluation reveals. Jonghyun looked up each time the door opened, not knowing what he was hoping for but hoping nonetheless. Did he want to stop waiting and get his rank and just leave? Did he really want to know how his two best friends would be branded for the next few weeks until they finally managed to crawl out of the muck and make a name for themselves in a better way than this?

 _Bright yellow._ Jonghyun's blank face twitched in disappointment. Hwang Minhyun, neutral but attempting to seem pleasant and unbothered by his drop in rank. Kim Jonghyun, staring at him as he took his seat behind the other immigrants from other ranks.

They didn't look at each other while the cameras were filming. Jonghyun was afraid of drawing any sort of attention to himself just by a simple shift in expression, and Minhyun was probably afraid of his mask cracking, which was _exactly_ what the editing team would want.

Minhyun walked out to go to the bathroom when the camera crew took a break and focused on another room. Jonghyun took advantage of the commotion and followed Minhyun silently.

He stayed by the door for a while, waiting for a sign that Minhyun was breaking down the way Jonghyun expected himself to react if he were in Minhyun's shoes. If his tattered self-esteem were torn apart and set on fire like how Jonghyun thought Minhyun was feeling, Jonghyun knew he wouldn't be able to repress his disappointment when he was alone with his thoughts.

But he only heard silence, the sound of a faucet being turned on and off, then silence once again. No angry yelling, no fists against cold porcelain, no pitiful sobs.

Jonghyun peeked inside with his palm shaking against the wood of the door. "Minhyun?" he called out with hesitation. His voice bounced off the walls, but there was nothing. Did he go into the wrong bathroom or—

"I'm here," a voice replied. Jonghyun went in and locked the door behind him.

Minhyun was… okay. He was leaning against the counter and staring at the ceiling, but there were no tears or even a sign of dismay. But when Minhyun looked into Jonghyun's eyes and attempted to smile, Jonghyun finally understood. This was someone who was used to disappointment, to years and years of delays and cancelled plans, to his future being pushed so far back that he didn't know if it was ever going to happen. He was already used to hiding it.

"Hey," Jonghyun said, walking over and leaning against the counter beside him. Their hands were close enough to touch, and Jonghyun found himself inching closer to bridge the gap between their warm hands when the cold tiles were starting to burn his palm.

"What happened?" asked Jonghyun. It wasn't a good question, but at least Minhyun would have the option to divulge whatever he was comfortable with sharing. If he wanted to confide in Jonghyun, he could do that. If he wanted to keep his mask on and redraw the boundaries of their not-so-friendship, he had control over that too.

"I– I messed up." Minhyun played with the hem of his sweatshirt. "Fumbled with steps that I was even able to help others with. I… I know what happened; I don't know _why._ "

Minhyun's voice cracked at that. He jolted up suddenly, eyes wide as he realized that his detached coolness was suddenly all gone. Frantic eyes looked for Jonghyun's, and the same eyes that Jonghyun once wanted to fall into somehow needed a well of comfort to hide in— _just for a moment, please._

"It's okay," Jonghyun whispered. His hand hesitated over Minhyun's shoulder, but it was Minhyun who inched closer this time, leaning forward until Jonghyun could press their bodies together.

Minhyun melted into his embrace. They were both physically tired—non-stop practice and crushing pressure tended to do that to people—but the intimate physical contact made them feel just how mentally exhausted they really were.

"This'll be over soon," Jonghyun said, mostly to Minhyun but also to himself. "You're better than this, and you know that. We'll get out eventually."

"Will I?" asked Minhyun. Jonghyun looked at his reflection on the mirror. Hopelessness was written all over Minhyun's face, but Jonghyun didn't have to see it when he could hear it clearly being mumbled behind his ear. "If I don't make it, I don't think my agency will ever make me see the light of day. Now I'm thinking— what's the point if I mess this up from the very beginning?"

 _"Minhyun,"_ Jonghyun said, gripping the back of his shirt, "don't you dare lose hope now. Not now, not this early in the game, not _ever._ And if I don't make it farther than this," Jonghyun's grip tightened, "I'm rooting for you, Hwang Minhyun. Always."

Minhyun chuckled at that, and after a while, Jonghyun felt him pull away. "Thanks," said Minhyun, "but I guess that means I'll have to make sure that both of us make it in the end now, huh?"

They smiled, and Jonghyun noticed that Minhyun was still holding onto his arm. Jonghyun took the opportunity to grip Minhyun's arm as well. Their small smiles turned into determined grins, masks being torn off and replaced with steely resolve that held them in place amidst everything trying to drag them down. They were in this together, and Jonghyun knew that if he needed it, he had another friend to hold onto now.

"I’m rooting for you too, Kim Jonghyun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love 2hyun and i also love hurt/comfort  
> also i don't mean to write jonghyun as such a negative person, but based on what i saw from the clips of the first few episodes, they must have been dealing with a lot of stress and self-esteem issues and i really wanted to touch on that (i only started watching during the first performances so idk what happened during the nayana & practice episodes lol)
> 
> anyway thank you to everyone who read the first chapter and left such lovely comments!! hope you'll like this update <3
> 
> (follow me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/amenochieien/)!)


	3. Chapter 3

Minhyun's only signal was a small smile, hidden behind a mic but bright enough for Jonghyun to see in his eyes. "Pledis trainee, Kim Jonghyun."

Jonghyun didn't think he'd be picked, but he remembered Minhyun's promise. They were going to make it to the end together. This was going to be the start of that.

It still felt strange though. He stood beside Seongwoo who looked happy to be chosen by his label mate to be on the same team and eager to start. Meanwhile, Jonghyun was the last pick for that team, probably a filler that Minhyun remembered to include since they were sort of friends now. Minhyun's hand brushed against his as they walked to an empty spot on the floor. Jonghyun looked up at him.

"Put your game face on," Minhyun said. Jonghyun knew he was right. If the public was critical of them before, the competition was going to be even stiffer from now on. Jonghyun couldn't afford to be caught off guard, but he still felt his mind trailing off as they discussed their song pick and the roles they were going to fill.

"… Jonghyun," a voice whispered into his ear. Minhyun was looking at him expectantly, hands itching to pinch him and bring him back to reality.

"Jonghyun does have the look of a leader," Seongwoo said to a round of people who agreed with him.

 _Oh no,_ Jonghyun thought. _Not this._

The time they took internally deciding that Jonghyun was their team leader was short in reality, but the apprehension in Jonghyun's mind dragged the moment on for so long. This was a _bad_ idea; they didn't know, no one knows how much he's fucked up in the past five years—

Minhyun placed a hand on his arm. "Are you okay with this?" he asked. Minhyun asked because _he_ knew; he was the only person outside of NU'EST who saw a glimpse of how helpless Jonghyun was when he was in a position he didn't know how to deal with. If Jonghyun said no— _I don't want this; I can't do it_ —he knew it would be a show of weakness, but would he rather be seen as weak instead of incompetent? Would he rather prevent the disaster instead of proving that he could navigate his team out of it, just as he had been trying to do with his group?

Minhyun squeezed his arm once. Jonghyun's own words echoed in his mind as Minhyun pleaded with his eyes. _Don't you dare lose hope now. Not now, not this early in the game, not_ ever _._

Jonghyun knew he'd hate himself more if he disappointed someone who actually believed in him. "I— I'm okay. I'll do it."

They all beamed and clapped, too excited for something that was likely going to blow up in their faces. Jonghyun kept his sheepish grin on as they attached the sticker to his shirt. Minhyun smiled as he took it with grace, but he wouldn't stop glancing at Jonghyun as they distributed their parts and went on with their business for the rest of the day.

Jonghyun jumped back as he saw someone else behind his reflection on the mirror. Minhyun locked the door to the tiny bathroom behind him and leaned against it. "Geez," Jonghyun dried his face with a towel and tossed it to the side, "what if I had been peeing?"

Minhyun shrugged. "It's nothing I haven't seen before."

Jonghyun tilted his head in confusion and laughed it off. "Alright, you got my attention. Everything okay?"

"I should be asking that to you." Minhyun walked forward and placed an arm over Jonghyun's shoulders. The skinship was something Jonghyun was still growing used to. "We really have to stop meeting like this."

"You don't _always_ have to corner me in a bathroom to talk to me, you know. Besides," Jonghyun shook off his arm, "the dorm bathrooms are so tiny compared to the restrooms in the practice building."

Minhyun turned around and leaned against the counter. He was a lot closer than Jonghyun estimated, and his breath got caught in his throat as Minhyun's usually warm eyes scanned past Jonghyun's neutral expression coldly. Minhyun was looking for the cracks in his armor, but he didn't have to try very hard.

"I'm worried," Minhyun started, "about Jaehwan and Hyunbin."

"Oh, thank you for saying it." Jonghyun's rigid back collapsed, and he took a deep breath. "I was worried that I was the only one who saw what was going on."

"Trust me, everyone's aware." Minhyun sighed. "They need help, especially Hyunbin."

"I know it's the first day and we shouldn't be too harsh on them, but it's difficult to stay patient when it's like—" Jonghyun swallowed the lump in his throat. "Our futures depend on the impression we make on this very first stage. This reminded me that not everyone here really knows how high the stakes are for others."

Minhyun stayed silent. "… Hyunbin still hasn't gotten up from that spot he was sleeping in when we decided to break off practice."

Jonghyun sighed. "Good for him. I don't imagine getting any sleep tonight."

"Me neither," Minhyun whispered. He stretched out his arm and pulled Jonghyun in, allowing Jonghyun to rest his weight on Minhyun's side. Jonghyun inhaled deeply as his cheek made contact with Minhyun's soft sweater, and Minhyun rested his hand on Jonghyun's nape to hold him in place.

Jonghyun just said that he wasn't too used to this much skinship all at once, but Minhyun proved that he was one of the few people out there who could break Jonghyun's defenses with a simple touch. Both of them were the type to take their time in getting to know others, but this? Falling in comfort with someone else who needed empathy above everything else in this pressure cooker of a show? It was one of the few easy decisions they could make.

"We'll do well in the end," Jonghyun told himself. "I believe that."

Minhyun eased up to let Jonghyun pull away. They looked at each other and smiled. "Want to practice?" asked Minhyun, knowing that it would eat him up inside if he allowed Jonghyun to lie in bed and worry all night.

 Jonghyun closed his eyes and nodded. "Time to wake Hyunbin up, I guess."

Minhyun laughed, the loud one that resonated in the tiny bathroom and probably echoed down the hall. "Good luck with that."

Jonghyun punched his arm. "Come on, help me out."

"Hey, I've been helping Jaehwan this entire time!" Minhyun opened the door for them and let Jonghyun out first. They chatted quietly as they made their way to where the practice rooms were.

Minhyun paused, peeked into the pantry, and eyed the vending machines. "Do you think we should get drinks for everyone? I think Seongwoo and Daniel said they would still be in the practice room."

Jonghyun stopped. "Actually, you go ahead. I'll buy energy drinks for everyone."

Minhyun raised his eyebrow. "You sure? It's my treat."

Jonghyun shook his head and smiled. "Don't worry about it. I have someone I want to talk to." Jonghyun waved Minhyun away and walked into the pantry, plopping down on the couch and waking up the sleeping form on the other end.

Minki blinked at him sleepily. "Hey," he said. "What are you doing here?"

"That's position's bad for your back, you know," Jonghyun nagged, but he couldn't hide his playful tone. He stood up and started buying the drinks for the rest of his team. _Speaking of that—_ "Where are your group mates?"

"We're taking a break." Minki looked at the time on his phone. "Actually, that was thirty minutes ago. Yikes."

Jonghyun chuckled while digging through his pocket for more change. "And how is your group? 'Replay' is a good fit for you."

"I know," Minki chirped, confident grin back on his face. Jonghyun put the bottles down on the table and sat beside Minki again. "They're good. I… think I'm making friends."

"That's great," said Jonghyun. "Me too, I think."

"Yeah, Hwang Minhyun, right?" Minki nodded thoughtfully. "Who knew we'd be meeting him again?"

Jonghyun paused. "You remember him?"

"Of course! I was surprised when I recognized him," said Minki. "It's nice to have an acquaintance like that."

"He's been helping me out a lot. He understands what it's like to start out young and—" Jonghyun winced. "Yeah. He gets it too."

"Well, Mr. Leader," Minki placed an arm over Jonghyun's shoulders and poked the sticker on his chest, "take care of yourself. I have to go back to practice," he looked up at the door, "and so do you."

The door opened to reveal Minhyun's head peeking in. "Hey there."

"Hi Minhyun. I'll stop taking up your leader's time now." Minki messed up Jonghyun's hair. "Bye."

"He's yours too, you know," Minhyun said with a glint in his eyes. Minki smiled and pat his shoulder as he walked out of the room.

Minhyun walked towards Jonghyun and offered him a hand. "Come on, we managed to get Hyunbin to wake up. He'll need about three of those to keep standing."

Jonghyun chuckled and took his hand. Minhyun kept babbling on as he took the bottles and walked with Jonghyun to the practice room. The mood was light as Jonghyun laughed with Minhyun, but reality crashed down on him as he opened the door and saw Hyunbin trip over the same steps that Jonghyun spent almost all day teaching him.

_Two in the morning. This is going to be a long night._

The next day, Jonghyun could only bow his head as the trainers nitpicked their half-baked performance. He felt Jaehwan's and Hyunbin's—mostly Hyunbin's—shame as the comments were oddly directed towards Jonghyun. "We'll do better," he said, but it was difficult to convince others when he could barely convince himself.

Jonghyun grit his teeth. If the cameras picked up any more weakness, he knew his time here was going to be cut short. As they walked back to their practice room with shame hanging over their heads, Minhyun ran to catch up to Jonghyun and held his hand tightly. Jonghyun didn't have the strength to squeeze back.

"What are you going to do?" asked Minhyun.

Jonghyun slipped his hand out of Minhyun's grasp. His eyes were shining with unshed tears, but the fierce determination was clear in his strong gaze. Jonghyun started this journey with _begging:_ he was pleading for his friends to stay strong and bring back the passion that they used to fuel them after all these years of disappointments.

It was time that he listened to himself and did what he had to do.

The rest of his members, the crew, the entire _building_ felt like it went silent as Jonghyun gave his speech. Jonghyun looked at Hyunbin through the reflection on the mirror and knew that Hyunbin was listening. The shame was heaviest on Hyunbin's shoulders, but that was also because he knew he was putting a burden on everyone else.

"I'm sorry," Hyunbin muttered. "I can do better."

His acknowledgement was powerful. The feeling seemed to resonate across the entire team.

"Good." Jonghyun smiled now, too tired to stay upset. "Now let's start with that footwork."

The tense atmosphere instantly melted. Jaehwan slumped down on his seat, but Minhyun tugged at his sweater before he could attempt to sneak in a nap. "You too, Jaehwan. Don't act like your moves were any better."

"At least I could follow the beat," Jaehwan grumbled, but he followed along anyway because—

Well, Jonghyun couldn't really figure out why. Maybe it was because they already cracked under the pressure and they were just trying to manage their nerves by being productive. Maybe it was because of Jonghyun's words; maybe he actually brought out their fighting spirit even more by showing them a sliver of his desperation to stay on this show. Maybe it was because they easily brushed off everything burdening them as soon as Jonghyun said what he said, and they stopped seeing this as an individual grab towards fame and started seeing a single performance as their one chance—their stepping stone—towards all their dreams, combined.

Jonghyun basked in this feeling as they all laughed together, exhausted on the practice room floor. He was watching their recording from earlier, chuckling along as Hyunbin sleepily mumbled some crazy story about hearing voices in their recording or some shit. It kept the mood light as his words dissolved into unintelligible sounds and then into soft and deep snores.

A figure walked into the room as soon as the camera crew turned off the equipment and left them to rest. Jonghyun looked up, rubbing his eyes after staring at the tablet for so long. They still needed to adjust the angles of their formation; it was off-kilter right after the dance break and—

"Hey," Minhyun whispered as he settled beside Jonghyun and rested his head on Jonghyun's shoulder, "I can hear you thinking from outside. Let's sleep."

Jonghyun put the tablet down and slid down until he and Minhyun could lie down comfortably. Minhyun's arm found its way under Jonghyun's neck, and Jonghyun found himself smiling as Minhyun tried to blink his sleepiness away.

"Thank you," mumbled Minhyun. Jonghyun turned to his side and faced Minhyun when he heard those unfamiliar words.

"For what?"

"For being our leader." Minhyun was facing away from the light streaming in from the hallway, but Jonghyun could see his eyes shining nonetheless. "I know it was a burden on you, but you really need to give yourself more credit."

Jonghyun paused before he moved closer and hugged Minhyun's chest, sleepiness overtaking his usual barriers in giving affection. "Thank you," he mumbled, warm breath bouncing off Minhyun's neck and warming the tip of his nose, "for picking me."

Minhyun chuckled, though it sounded breathy and choked. He placed his hand on Jonghyun's head, spread his fingers on the nape of his neck as he did just the day before, and smiled against the crown of Jonghyun's head. "My one-pick, Kim Jonghyun."

It was Jonghyun's turn to laugh now, warm and comfortable as Minhyun pressed his lips against his forehead. "Sleep well," Minhyun whispered. But with how Jonghyun felt Minhyun's heart beating beneath his palm, he knew neither of them were going to get a lot of sleep that night.

Good thing that didn't affect their performance the next day. Everything went by smoothly, _too_ smoothly, and Jonghyun tried not to laugh at Hyunbin's bewilderment when he felt his own improvement. They passed drinks and took naps and Jonghyun felt— _confident._ They were ready, and they were going to defy all expectations.

But first, he needed to get some proper rest before the actual day. Performing in front of a live crowd wasn't foreign to him, but it had been so long. He was afraid that he was out of practice by now, that turning on his stage persona wouldn't be as natural to him as it was before. He missed hiding behind the mask of JR. He hoped that he would have the chance to go back to that after all this mess was over.

He couldn't sleep though. Their shared dorm room was quiet; everyone else went out to buy snacks after dinner while he and Minhyun went back right away. Jonghyun's fingers hovered over his phone. Did he want to go and search about them, see what people were saying? Aron said the response was… lukewarm at best, but with room for improvement. That wasn't too bad, was it?

"Hey." Hwang Minhyun, freshly showered with a book in one hand, ducking beneath the top bunk and sitting beside him. "Aren't you going to sleep soon?"

"Well, there's someone in my bed, so…" Jonghyun smiled and tossed a pillow at Minhyun. He put it behind him and leaned back, staring at Jonghyun for a while. His eyes stopped at Jonghyun's phone.

"Are you about to search for your names?" Jonghyun turned off his screen and put it away. "You know, Fantagio doesn't allow us to have phones, mostly to prevent us from driving ourselves crazy by doing that."

"I'm… curious," mumbled Jonghyun.

"Don't worry too much, okay?" Minhyun tilted his head to get Jonghyun to look at him. "I promise you: after this week, they'll come around."

Jonghyun snorted. "You can't believe that—"

 _"I'm serious!"_ Minhyun said, grin growing as Jonghyun's expression softened. "When they see how good you are, how stupidly patient you were with Hyunbin, how well you lead us as our leader," Minhyun's eyes were shining again, "they'll fall for you too."

Minhyun opened his book, fingers lightly flipping through the pages to look for his bookmark. Jonghyun was fixated on how gentle his movements were, how caring he was towards an inanimate object. He was seeing Minhyun at peace, doing something he loved, and Jonghyun was there, drinking up the sight.

Jonghyun leaned forward, placed a hand on Minhyun's book, and pressed a kiss against the corner of his lips, tilting his head then meeting Minhyun's lips fully. Minhyun responded quickly, but Jonghyun pulled back just as fast and sat down again with a foot separating them.

Minhyun was holding his book in his hands, eyes wide and lips red. When he didn't move for a few more seconds, Jonghyun collapsed backward and lied down on his back, a relieved smile taking over his face. "Oh, thank _goodness_. I really thought you'd punch me in the face."

That seemed to break Minhyun out of his spell. "What?" He could barely get the word out past the giggles bubbling from within and the wide smile that seemed to take over his face as well. Minhyun leaned forward and straddled Jonghyun's hips, elbows holding his body up as he hovered over Jonghyun. The contentment in Jonghyun's eyes was enough to tell him that this— this is what they _both_ wanted.

"I was scared," Jonghyun said, "that I was reading this all wrong."

Minhyun laughed, the loud one that he had to stifle just in case someone heard them from outside. "Don't worry; I'm used to people reading me wrong, even when I mean it." Minhyun kissed Jonghyun's forehead, as he did just the day before. "I'm so glad the first person who's ever read me right— it's you."

Jonghyun was the one who snaked his hands over Minhyun's shoulders and pulled him down, meeting his lips halfway. Minhyun gently dropped his weight on Jonghyun's body, and his hands were on Jonghyun's neck right away, stroking the skin softly while Jonghyun squirmed at the gentle sensation.

Jonghyun distracted Minhyun from teasing him by tangling his fingers in Minhyun's hair and scratching his scalp, causing Minhyun to collapse further on him. Minhyun pulled away to breathe, nosing at Jonghyun's jawline and grinning against his collarbone.

Minhyun was beaming. Well, they both were, really. Minhyun initiated the next kiss, starting with mumbled praises pressed against the underside of Jonghyun's jaw. By the time he reached Jonghyun's lips, Jonghyun pulled him in again with strong hands gripping the front of his shirt. Minhyun smiled against the kiss, legs tightening around Jonghyun's hips.

As much as they would have loved to stay that way for hours and hours on end, they both froze as they heard the chilling sound of Jaehwan's laugh resonating in the dorm hallway. Minhyun jumped off Jonghyun, rolling to the floor and pretending to look for something under the bed. Just in time, the rest of the team walked into the room and met a very _normal_ sight, nothing out of place, except for maybe the crinkles on Minhyun's shirt and the lump in Jonghyun's throat that coincided with the lump in his sweatpants…

Jonghyun already missed having his own room. 

Minhyun smiled at Jonghyun before he climbed into his own bed. _To be continued._

Jonghyun fell asleep peacefully that night with dreams of warm lips and warm hands and lying in an embrace where he felt completely at peace. For once, his dreams weren't plagued by his anxieties.

When they all woke up to prepare for their performance, Jonghyun knew they were going to have a good show. He didn't know if it was because he woke up without a crick in his neck or if it was because they had an extra five minutes to at least get some breakfast or if it was because Minhyun pulled him into a vocal practice room for two minutes for a long kiss that took his breath away right before they left for the concert venue— it didn't matter. Jonghyun was ready to put on a show.

Jonghyun turned Minhyun around to fix his mic for him. "Hey," he whispered when Minhyun turned to face him, "put your game face on."

Minhyun chuckled, glad to see that Jonghyun was trying to lighten the mood for a first-timer like him. "Always."

As they all held each other's arms and gripped them tightly, Jonghyun looked at his team members' faces once more. "We're ready. We've worked hard for this. _Let's show them a legendary stage._ "

Minhyun smiled. This was the leader he was rooting for, and Jonghyun was glad to deliver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY WOW this really escaped me and became much longer than i expected whoops
> 
> hope you all liked the chapter!!! please leave comments hehe
> 
> (follow me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/amenochieien/)!)

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [twitter (@amenochieienn)](https://twitter.com/amenochieienn)!!


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